What a first impression!

My DH and I began dating while we were both located in a state that was home to neither of us. All surrounding people and places were new, unfamiliar, and unbiased. We spent a year in that place. Just the two of us, with nothing to build the foundation of our relationship on except for US. It was, I now believe, the only way we could have ever built the true strength into our bond that has kept outside forces from tearing us apart.

During this first year, my NMIL's 50th birthday is approaching. Two months prior to this event, DH asks what she would like and she says, "Just to see my son on my birthday". Plans are made to make the 900 mile trip to his hometown for her birthday. We both take 2 days off of work around a weekend so that we have 2 full days there to visit.

Fast forward to NMIL's birthday party. We gave her a bag full of gag gifts, and I made her a bracelet that I spent much time agonizing over so as to appeal to her style and taste. She half-heartedly laughed at the gifts so as not to look sore in front of her friends, made a comment that the bracelet was "nice" and pushed it aside to move onto the next gift. The next gift was store-bought jewelry that was very very similar to what I had made. She GUSHED over it. "OH MY LORD!! (SO-AND-SO'S NAME) YOU KNOW ME SOOOOOO WELL!! I LOOOOOOVE IT!!!" The underlying message being sent to DH here is how terrible of a gift his was. That the 900 miles, 2 days of lost pay (4 days really as there are 2 of us taking time off), $500 in gas spent to be there, and the effort put into hand-making customized jewelry for her birthday, were nowhere near as good a gift as the jewelry that So-and-So picked up at the store 10 minutes prior to the party for maybe $50.

Fast forward again. DH and I arrive back to the neutral state and that very evening he receives a phone call from NMIL. She proceeds to chastise him and belittle him because "My own son didn't even get me a birthday present".  I had no idea what she was saying while he was on the phone with her, I just saw my DH go from relaxed and happy, to looking like he'd been beaten with a cane pole and left out in the rain for days.  That she had told him she JUST wanted to see him on her birthday, and then turn around and belittle him for doing exactly that is BullS**T. Pure and simple crap.

My first impression of his mother was one of beyond imaginable inconsideration, and of a women whose sole focus in life is on the things she owns or can get from others. She has no idea to this day that I was made privy to that crap phone call she made. Oh and by the way, lest we forget, she put food on the table, clothes on his back and a roof over his head alllllll those years, so to do anything but serve her with every ounce of his being is absolutely unacceptable. Yep. She totally pulled out the whole "I took care of all your needs as a child". I disagree, but that's another post.

-Kerielle-