Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Trust in me, just in me

The title for this post came from Disney's the Jungle Book. The snake is singing Mogli to sleep, hypnotizing him, making him easy prey.

I'm feeling like this. The world I've stepped into with my DH's FOO, I feel like it's eating me alive. Awareness of what these people really are helps with NMIL, as she is overt, but she is GOOD at what she does. Making you distraught over her selfishness, then when you're at that precipice of being able to disconnect from any hope and move on in your life, WHAM she pulls out a manipulation. Whatever it was you needed from her, she will supply it so that you can't disconnect, because she did recognize the error of her way and said as much. Until next time right?

N?SM I'm removing the ?. NSM and EFIL. They swallow your soul.  NSM has from day one, expressed her worry to me about NMIL wreaking havoc in me and DH's new life together. NSM has made sure that I know I can talk to her about it, as she and EFIL went through it all and she knows just how evil NMIL is.  I feel like I've been railroaded. I'm so unsure of what these people are doing. To start with I believed NSM and I did talk to her about it. I think that was a huge mistake, that she was just digging for info in the event they should ever be face-to-face again. Which they will. And she knew. For our wedding. The full weight of that is slamming into my gut. Would these people really spend 3 years mining info, courting my trust, just to have a full round of ammo to use on NMIL, to extract revenge at our wedding?? It would completely destroy the event. It would destroy DH. It would destroy me to know I supplied that ammo.

God save me from myself and those that mean harm.

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